It has been weeks, MONTHS since I’ve written here. So consumed with the back-end of things. Worrying about how my website looks, the aesthetics of it’s appearance, making sure all neat and tidy, easy on the eyes for viewing purposes. Speaking of which, let’s discuss this: analytics. Yes, must not ignore that. Who’s reading this blog post, right now, this minute? Are you? Never mind, no worries, I’ll Google that and find out later….But first, I’m STILL trying to rid the posts (mind you, NOT pages, please, that’s completely different!) of the title “Property Description.” Can’t a girl just plainly delete this ONE title with a mere click?
I lament with purpose. Instead of waiting until all plugins are properly installed, links are correctly set, photos are in sync, what I write about today takes precedence above all things WordPress.
Simply put, my dad-in-law, this man I’ve grown to know, not just as his daughter-in-law but as his caregiver, is dying. Dementia, yes – ugly, horrific and hateful. And yes, one with his rare disease, Progressive Supra Nuclear Palsy, is not expected to live long, or certainly as long as he has, so this news is to be expected. What is not expected is this: my heart, so full, completely immersed, this one experience unlike anything else in my life, the transformation, unfolding of feelings, and now I am here, years later, transformed myself.
I love Robert Landes Zimmer. I say this without frivolity or obligation of any sort. I truly love him. He is a gift – a gift of such proportion, I have yet to wrap this experience around my own head. He is dying now. His mind, it ceases, his breathing, shallow. I hold his hand, tears hitting his frail arm, smiling, telling him how much I love him. The tears, my heartfelt reaction as I gently stroke is still-soft silver hair. I am looking at reality. His, mine, both us knowing, understanding each other, no words necessary.
As the next days pass, so shall I keep living. Today is the day I begin to write. Again. My words, I share with you regardless of mere mechanics, social media practices, SEO or the language of HTML. Language is bliss. As are you.
Thanks for reading….. 